What's that??

I love learning new words. I had a chance to help someone on the phone learn a new word today. She said she had been listening to the local classical music station and the DJ ( does Classical Radio have DJ's?) played a piece by Delius (who?) and that the piece was transcribed by an amenuences. She didn't know the word, and she wasn't sure how to spell it, nor how to pronounce it really. So, the two of us tried to spell it the best we could based on what she heard on the radio. Turns out the word was Amanuensis: one employed to write from dictation or to copy manuscript (\ə-ˌman-yə-ˈwen(t)-səs\).  But that brings up something in my mind. I'm glad the radio DJ used an unfamiliar word in this instance. So many times TV and Newspaper talk down to us. How many times have I heard that the newspaper is written on a fifth grade level. In this case, the radio DJ challenged the listener to explore and look into what was being said. Both of us, the caller and me, learned something new today. This is why I love my job!

Awwww....out of the mouths of babes.....

The sweetest thing happened today! OMG I was so touched. One of the ladies who brings a young child to my storytime came up to me at the reference desk today. She said she wanted to introduce me to the child's Mama. All this time I didn't know that the lady was the grandma! She's such a young looking grandma that I thought *she* was the Mama! Anyway, the Mama said she wanted to meet me. She had to find out who I was because every night her child says a prayer for Mama and for Daddy (about 4 times for Daddy), for Grandma, etc etc and for Miss *Storyteller*<----insert my name here. Awwwwwww....

Also, another grandma came up to me after storytime this week to tell me that her granddaughter always reads books to her dolls like this, "The book title is blah blah blah and the illustrator is blah blah blah..." Just like Miss *Storyteller <---insert my name here, does.
Awwwwww....

And just what did you mean by that???

I got so defensive today, this customer really managed to get my hackles got up. The customer had been looking through the catalog and then he said: I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS LIBERRY HAS NO BOOKS ON THIS TOPIC (viewing the fall colors in the mountains)! I say: NONE?? He says: NOT A ONE. He says: BARNES AND NOBLE HAS HUNDREDS OF BOOKS ON THIS TOPIC. I say: ARE YOU SURE? He says: YES, OF COURSE, THEY HAVE TONS AND TONS OF BOOKS ON THIS TOPIC. So I don't go look in Barnes & Noble website to see if what he says is true, I go to Amazon website to see...There is only ONE book listed on his topic. ONE!!! If Amazon has ONE book on a topic, how in the world can Barnes & Noble have HUNDREDS??? I took him over to the section where we have hiking books and day trips around our state and he browsed there for a bit. After all that, he did check out a nice little stack of liberry books. I guess we aren't so bad after all.

Later on I did look on Barnes & Noble's website to see what they had on this topic and I didn't see any at all!

"Rough day at the office, dear?..."

I haven't checked, but today feels like one of those full moon days. Is there a full moon tonight? It's one of those days when nothing goes smoothly, when people snap at you for no reason, there's been

non-stop computer problems, so many people wanting help with their documents, their email, their resumes...It has just been one hell of a day and I can't wait till I can go home.

The day the power went off...

"DON'T JUMP!"

The power went off at 2:00 on a hot summer day last week. Poof! in the dark, the whole neighborhood went black. Traffic lights were out. Air conditioner stopped. Computers went dark. Our phones went dead. Then we discovered two people were stuck in the elevator!! Since our phones didn't work, we all pulled out our cell phones. I yelled thru the elevator doors for them to find that emergency phone in the elevator, "It's dark", they said. "Where is it?" When they finally found the phone, they said they couldn't see the buttons to dial it. All this time I've always thought that the phone would automatically dial security, or the police, or at the very least, the fire department. But noooooooo, it didn't connect to anyone. One of us called liberry security, someone else called the power company, then someone else called the fire department to come get those folks out of the elevator. Those poor people! They were both in their 80's. By now, they are telling us thru the door that it was getting hot inside the elevator and they are beginning to panic. I waited outside the liberry watching for the firefighters to come, it seemed like it took them forever! Those poor people! By the time the FD arrives, somehow those two old people have already gotten the elevator doors open! I'll never know how they did that. And we can see that the elevator is stuck between two floors, about 5 feet up from the main floor. OMG they were trying to jump out of the elevator! Don't Jump!! Let the firefighter help you out! Did the FD use any of their fancy dancy firefighter equipment, a ladder or something? noooooooooo They grabbed a liberry chair, pulled it up to the elevator so that the elderly couple could step on the arm, then the seat, then the floor....Whew....About one hour later, around 3:00, the power is restored.

Kids never learn!

Several bikes were stolen from the liberry in recent weeks. Today, one of the kids whose bike was stolen, saw it chained to the liberry bike rack. He and his buddies tracked down the alleged thief in the liberry who I will call "Clueless". Something is definitely wrong with Clueless but I can't begin to tell you what that is. By the time I heard about the bike and the thievery, Clueless had already tagged the men's restroom and had a stern lecture by our custodian AND had cleaned up the tagging under the watchful eye of our custodian. But the thing that really ticked me off was the boys who owned the stolen bike. They watched Clueless like little hawks, not letting him out of their sight. Some of our staff had even called liberry security to come out to our liberry (30 min. drive) to handle the situation. But honestly? By the time the liberry security arrived, the boys had confronted Clueless, gotten the lock combination from Clueless, and had ridden their bike home. Later in the day, the same boys rode their bike back to our liberry, had deposited their bikes at the front door of the liberry, UNLOCKED! oooohhhhh I was so mad at them! Our liberry staff had already spent way too much work time with them trying to get their bike back from Clueless. I couldn't believe that they would not lock the bikes up after all the drama! I told them not to expect any help from liberry staff next time if their bikes got stolen again. If it gets stolen in the future, they get no sympathy from me, not one drop...

RIP

Mr. P. passed away a week or so ago. When Mrs. P. told me, she was in tears. Mr. P. was from Colombia. And he used to talk with me in Spanish so I could practice. He would say to me, "Un placer verte". It means, "A pleasure to see you." I never forgot that simple little phrase, I say it alot now. He was often so drunk when he came into the liberry he would stagger and at those times I worried for his safety and others on the street. One time in the liberry, during one of his inebriated states, he kissed me! I was shocked! Obviously I was close enough to him, but not that close! As I remember it, we were standing at the computers, I must have been helping him or something and WHAMO he caught me by surprise and just planted one on my cheek, very close to but not on my mouth! Needless to say, I quickly moved away from him and made damn sure I was never that close to him again! One other time, he told me a story about growing up in Colombia and to this day I wonder if the story is true...I kinda believed him. He told me when he was a little boy, he managed to take a penguin home from the zoo, and he kept it in his bath tub, with ice until his mother made him take the penguin back. hmmmmmm.... Yeah, a little far-fetched, isn't it? I will miss him. By the way, I didn't tell Mrs. P. about the time he tried to kiss me in the liberry. RIP, Mr. P. Fue un placer conocerte.

The Girl who....

There was this sixth grade girl who was struggling on the liberry computers last fall trying to attach a written assignment to an email to send to the teacher. I helped as I often do with her flash drive, and the email and ultimately the attachment. But in talking with her further, she reveals that, even though she wrote the paper, it was not her homework and the teacher she was emailing was not her teacher. Her older brother, 8th grader, had paid her $20 to write this paper and turn it in to the teacher for him! I'm Shocked! Shocked, I tell you! I've seen mothers "type" papers for their kids, or come in the liberry to get books for their kid's assignments, but this was a first! I've never seen a baby sister do homework for a big brother! This same girl recently came back to the liberry to sign up for Summer Reading, but this time she needed to pick up a GED (Good Enough Diploma) study book for her older sister. She said her sister was too lazy to come to the liberry to get the book herself. It makes me wonder if the big sister will even bother to crack the book open...

Por amor al arte, parte 2

See Por amor al arte, parte 1, then read on....
Some comments written in the artist's guest book....

"Nice work! <3 the unique!"

"I love all of them! I like the one witha flag. i like the things." (written in child's handwriting)

"So beautiful"

"Very original-I Liked Them."

"I think their OK not the best." (written in childlike handwriting)

"Its so cool!"

"it rocks"

"I like8th<3"

"Very creative" (Child's handwriting)

"I Like the card ship"

"Loved the Red & Black - Japanese & the Deck of traveling Cards."

Hey (Artist's name here), Really like the work, especially to Japanese one."

"Awesome sculptures"

"Pretty awesome, dude !!"

"sick sculptures"

"It is stupendus!"

"I like these, I feel like they're really Huge. You should put a little person or a small car or trees to make them look colossal."

"NEAT!" "GREAT JOB"

"trippy! -in a good way"

"Great. to See. Awesome"

"Very smart and creative art work. Keep it up=)"

"Wonderful and refreshing! thank you!!"

"I was inspired to create after seeing your work."

"Totally interesting" (In child's handwriting)

See? Some like it, some don't. I made no changes in capitalizations, punctuations, grammar nor spelling - I copied it just as I saw it, even some of the smiley faces are duplicated, though not all. Thank goodness only 2 more days to go for this art show. I'm getting tired of moving the sculptures around every time we need the room for liberry programs. What if I broke one of them while moving them. OMG...You broke it, you own it...??? ARRRGHH Horrors! *cringe/shudder*

Are you kiddin' me?

The grocery store across the street from our liberry was robbed by gunpoint today!! OMG!! Cops from two counties everywhere! And to top it off, there's a little man running around yelling at people. He's not in any law enforcement uniform, he yelled inside our door "LOCK DOWN THE LIBERRY! THERE WAS AN ARMED ROBBERY ACROSS THE STREET! YOU NEED TO LOCK THE DOORS! DON'T LET ANYBODY IN! DON'T LET ANYBODY OUT! THIS IS A LOCKDOWN! I AM NOT A POLICE OFFICER BUT I HAVE WORKED SECURITY! THIS IS A LOCKDOWN!!" Later we heard he was arrested for Incitement. Needless to say, we DID NOT lock the liberry doors.

Por amor al arte, parte 1.....

We have a liberry patron who feels entitled to do whatever he wants to do just because he donated more than $5K to our liberry. He is an artist, he makes paintings and sculptures. How does the saying go? Art is in the eye of the beholder? No, that's not it. But you get my drift. Some folks like his stuff and some don't. I am one of those who don't. Anyway, our liberry manager gave him permission to have a mini art show to display his sculptures here, thankfully just for one week. But here's the kicker...if you work in a publik liberry, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about....it's summer people!!! School is out, it's summer reading time, too busy here to monopolize our meeting room with so-called art! People!! We got magic shows, jugglers, craft classes to have!! We need our own liberry space for what we gotta do! The liberry is not your own personal art gallery!! geez louise!

WTH?? You're cracking me up!

The following statement was found on a bright orange post-it note, stuck on the cover of a book called Breathing: "Did you know if you put chocolate in a place with a stronge odor that it will make the chocolate taste werd. So the point of this is dont sell chocolate to skunks the will demand a refund for bad tasting chocolate." It is verbatim, I did not change any mispellings or punctuations.

OOooo la la part 2

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Huh?

Ok, so, we have a gentleman who calls regularly (once or twice a week?) for specific information from a specific website (he knows the URL), and from a specific place on the website (he knows exactly where on the page this info is located). He says, "Please go to U.S. National Debt Clock at http://www.usdebtclock.org/, look toward the middle of the page, under the section that starts with US Gross Domestic Product, then look for Gross Debt to GDP Ratio." "Yes?" I say, "I'm there." "What are those numbers for the Gross Debt to GDP Ratio?" OMG....how do you quote numbers that are going up by the second? I tell him the numbers, and I also sy to him, "The numbers are changing by the second as we speak." I don't know why I bother telling him this, he obviously already knows this. He thanks me politely, then hangs up. It makes me wonder what in the world does he do with that information?

Whew! What a morning! And Afternoon!

Monday is Preschool Storytime at the liberry! Usually we have 19, 23, 12 people, that's parents, grandparents and the wee little ones. Today we had 59!! That's 31 children, from cradle to 6 years old and 28 moms, dads, grandmoms and even one nanny!! And boy was it wild and crazy! I think this liberry is going to have to have another storytime session. I don't think I can handle 59 people every week!

After lunch, my colleague informed me that a Mr. Crankypants was going to come into the liberry for help to edit his Craigslist listing. Mr. Crankypants was angry for lots of reasons. First thing making Mr. Crankypants cranky, his usual liberry closed unexpectedly for plumbing repairs. Second reason making him crankier, his usual liberry didn't change their phone message when they closed so the message was giving out wrong info. Third reason that made Crankypants crankiest was, he had to drive out of his way to come to my liberry (8 min. and 3 miles tops). Fourth thing making him most cranky was there someone at the liberry who could "help him edit"="meaning do it for him" because he didn't know how. *groan* I was not looking forward to Mr. Crankypants coming. When he arrived, Mr. Crankypants was abrupt, and kinda mean, didn't know how to access his Craigslist, and was indeed downright cranky. I helped him, and about 3 other people at the same time. He got his posting changed. By the time he left, he wasn't so cranky anymore, AND I think I had him eating right out of my hand.... ahhh the finesse of a good liberrian...

Slow week in my liberry world

Sorry readers....nothing new to report.

OOooo la la

Professionalism requires that I not flinch, laugh, make a face or otherwise blink in response to a liberry patron's requests. Today a man called and asked for a wide variety of books: "Treasure Islands: Uncovering the Damage of Offshore Banking and Tax Havens" (yawn); "Best American Erotica 2004" (me wonders why that year out of any year he could have picked?); "How wars end : why we always fight the last battle" (I shrug, no biggie); "Orgasmic: Erotica for women" (and he sounds rather old on the phone. I wonder what he's up to?); and last but not least "The happy hooker's guide to mind-blowing sex : 69 orgasmic ways to pleasure a woman"....Oooola la....

Ring ring ring

My liberry does not have an official use of cell phone policy within the liberry. I ask people if they need a private place for their phone call that I would provide one...outside usually. Sometimes they say they don't need a private place so then I say, your call is disturbing people around you, please take your call outside. Well yesterday, this man's cell phone kept ringing and ringing. Every time he answered it he'd say "Hello? Hello? Hello?" then he'd hang up. Seconds later the phone would ring again! And he'd say "Hello? Hello?" and each time he said Hello louder than the last. After the 4th or 5th time of this (I kept thinking he would figure out that maybe, just maybe he should turn the phone off. But nooooooooooooo) I walk up to him and say, "Sir, please turn your phone off, or turn it on vibrate." He starts yelling at me..."I don't know who it is that keeps calling!" I say, "I don't want to know who is calling, I want you to turn your phone off so it will stop ringing." He says, "I wait and wait at home for someone to call and the phone never rings, when I get to the liberry, the damn phone won't stop ringing." "That is precisely why I want you to turn off your phone!" Sheesh! I don't know what he did, but it didn't ring anymore after that.

Testing, testing...Passed!

I think that the man was testing us to see if we bought the books he thought we should have. I don't really think he wanted them at all. He asked if we had "Deconstructing Obama". We own several copies, all checked out, with 6 peeps on the waitlist. Did he want to put his name on the reserve list? No. Then he asked for a new book that is coming out soon, "Where's the Birth Certificate"? hmmmmmm, me thinks, I think I know where this is going..... We had several copies on order, with a waitlist on it already, 4 or 5. Did he want to put his name on the waitlist? No.... I wonder if we passed his little test?

Kindle and liberry books!!! Finally!

Wow. This is very good news! When our liberry customers ask about which e-reader device they should get that is compatible with our liberry e-books, I always told them NOT to get Kindle. But now, just in time for those Xmas gifts....very smart business decision, I'd say...

What were you thinking?

Do you think you can always get what you want when you want it? A lady came in asking for a copy of "Cutting for Stone" by Abraham Verghese. Even though it was published in 2009, it remains extremely popular, and currently our 94 copies has 200 people on the reserve list. "When do you need this book?" "I need it next week for my book club." Oh geez.... fat chance!

Tax form headaches

Lady patron: I need a tax form.

Liberrian: Which one?

Lady patron: I don't know, just give me the tax forms.

Liberrian: Sorry, I am not a Tax professional. If you know which form you need, I can help you find it.

Lady patron: I'm not sure, I think I need WD1040.

The Liberrian showed her where the reproducible tax forms were. She looked at the notebook, made a call on her cell phone, then she left without any tax form at all.

Who knew?

A liberry patron went to a local bookstore to get a copy of Going Rogue by Sarah Palin, an autographed copy. The bookstore didn't have any, but they suggested that he look on the web to locate a copy. Who knew that the bookstore wasn't allowed to look that up for him? That's what the patron told me. So we, me and the patron, found copies of signed copies of Going Rogue that would cost from $100 to $500 per copy!! *faint* He had no idea her signed book would cost that much, and neither did I. I got him the mailing address for Sarah, he's going to write her and ask her for a copy. He was happy with that and he said "You do good work, inspite of what your mother told you." Now why'd he have to bring my mother into this conversation?

Later on in the day, a man wanted a listing of used bookstores in two neighboring communities. So I printed the list of bookstores, came out to 4 pages, which I didn't even charge him for. OMG when I went downstairs to the checkout desk, my colleague said that the man was "ecstatic", "overjoyed", "just beside himself", and "downright giddy" over getting those print outs. Who would have thunk a liberrian could make people so happy?